This is a guest post for Shoemoney and it’s damned good so it should get accepted. Also, my blog sucks, so please don’t check it out.
In this post I will share how to recover from pissing off internet gurus, of which I’m sure I’ve probably done my fair share.
- First off, stop doing stupid things. This includes commenting when you have nothing interesting to say, telling them they don’t know how to write, posting a stupid reply under the first commenter just to get attention, repeatedly correcting their spelling when they don’t want you to, making fun of their kid’s acne, making post titles such as “Why I Hate Shoemoney” and misquoting them just to get traffic, or anything else that’s annoying.
- Bribery. Most lists should include some form of bribery, and for good reason. Do something for the internet guru. Find out what tweaks their twitter and go above and beyond. If the guru does a t-shirt Friday, send him and his family ski jackets with free lift tickets to a resort somewhere in the Alps. Or maybe a sweatshirt. If you don’t have the dough, do something creative. Send some traffic to their store with a contest. “First one to buy a Shoemoney shirt, tear off the sleeves, paint themselves green like the Hulk, and mail me a photo of it, gets a free whatever. Do something for the guru pro bono like programming, ebook publishing, or mow their lawn or something when they’re not looking (maybe don’t do the last one, that’s creepy and may even be illegal).
- Apologize. Send them an email saying “Hey, remember back when we argued over what blog template was best and I called your mother a harnessed horse ninny? Yeah, well I was wrong. You were right. And your mother is not a harnessed horse ninny.” Then make the apology public and don’t do it again.
- Show appreciation. Gurus work hard. If they are helping you, thank the hell out of them. And thank them on specific things that are labor intensive and not-so-obvious. Nobody hates hearing genuine thank-you’s.
- Be objective. Don’t be a yes-man. If a guru announces that the internet is a fad and will die out on Wednesday, call them out on it. But do so respectfully and with facts. It keeps em on their toes and they should appreciate it. If they don’t…
- Forget them. Not all gurus are worth your time. Some are jerks. Know when to move on and don’t pander to anyone.
- Forget all of these pre-packaged lists with regurgitated content under a different title, work smart, and just be a good blogger and a good person. If still nobody notices, who cares? Life is too short and too great to care about silly things like impressing a guru.
In the comments below please thank Jeremy for something positive you have picked up from reading his blog or from knowing him personally. Or bribe him. Yeah, he’ll think this is stupid and corny, but this is a guest post so he’s not in charge.