11 Zombie Survival Rules for Internet Marketing

by curtoons on August 16, 2011 · 33 comments

1. Cardio. Like outrunning a Zombie an Internet Marketer must be willing to out run his competitor. You’ve got to be in it for the long haul rather than the short term if you want to make sustained income. Making a living online does not happen overnight. The longer you’re in it the better chance you’ll be successful.


2. Double Tap. It takes at least two shots to safely deal with a Zombie. This is the same when dealing with customers. Just hittiing them with your sales pitch once is not enough. You’ve got to tap them two or more times to get their attention or to get them to buy your product. Don’t be fooled into thinking that a person getting your message just once is going to act upon it.


3. Beware of Bathrooms. You are at your most vulnerable to a Zombie when you are in a bathroom. An Internet Marketer can run into the same problem if he becomes comfortable and relaxes for too long. Your competition will catch up to you and you take a chance of becoming lazy. Just because you begin to see success don’t get lazy. Keep testing new things and looking for new places to market your business.


4. Seatbelts. Just like a road paved in Zombies you’ve got to be ready in case of a sudden stop. Your online business is bound to run into obstacles from time to time, just ask a few people about the Google Panda update. Be prepared for sudden stops in traffic or sales. Everything will not always be smooth sailing and you should be prepared.


5. Travel Light. It will be harder to out run a Zombie if you’re carrying more than you can handle. The same is true in Internet Marketing. Don’t take on more than you can handle. Don’t build more websites or sell more products than you can keep up with. If you can’t answer emails, ship products and update your websites you’ll eventually fail. Keep things simple.


6. Don’t Be A Hero. Being a hero when Zombies are around can get you eaten. The same can be said for Internet Marketing. Taking risks when they aren’t needed can drain your budget and your resources. Don’t try untested ideas to make quick cash or because a guru tells you to. Stick to your plan and don’t be a hero.


7. Limber Up. When entering a Zombie zone you’ll want to be as limber as possible to help in your escape. This is the same as being prepared in your Internet Marketing. You’ll want to have everything in order before pushing the “go” button. Make sure everything works and all systems are go. You don’t want to launch a product just to find out you’ve got a broken link somewhere.


8. When In Doubt, Know Your Way Out. Zombies can surprise you so you’ll want to know every exit out of a building. In Internet Marketing you’ll want to know when it’s time to stop something that’s not working or not making a profit. Know ahead of time how you will replace that sale or what product you’ll have as a back up. Look for alternate traffic avenues in case of traffic loss.


9. Buddy System. You can’t always see a Zombie coming from every direction. Having a mentor or buddy in your Internet Marketing business can be a huge help. They can tell you where your business might fail or not do as well. A buddy can be objective to things you may not want to see. A business buddy can also give you advice and tips to help you save time and money.


10. Check The Back Seat. You don’t want to drive off in a car without checking for Zombies in the back seat. In your business you don’t want to start without knowing what things could cause you problems down the road. Research everything about your niche and know who your target audience is. Don’t let an unknown problem sneak up on you when it could have been prevented by checking the back seat. Research is key.


11. Enjoy The Little Things. When fighting Zombies you’ll need to take time and entertain yourself every chance you get. Do the same in your Internet Marketing. Have fun with your business and enjoy all aspects of it. Enjoy getting to know your clients, enjoy testing new ways of selling and new products. If you don’t enjoy your work you won’t wake up happy every morning eager to get started.


Just like dealing with Zombies there are rules that should be followed in Internet Marketing. The most important aspects of doing business online are doing the research, knowing the competition, targeting your audience and having a successful back up plan. If you have all of these rules in order you should be able to enjoy the little things.

full disclosure

About the author...

– who has written 1 posts on ShoeMoney.com.

Curtis D. Tucker is That Sneaker Wearing Entrepreneurial Cartoonist Internet Guy creating cartoon logos, peddling free clip art and selling cartoon characters online since 1999.

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1 Brennen

Epic mashup.

Don’t be one of those random shrieking crying people that gets eaten right away, be that one badass dude all leathered out with machine guns that carves his life out on his own terms.

2 Yosef martin

I love the zombie approach. Good post

3 Weston

Nice Post, Gave me a good laugh and taught me at the same time. Winning!

4 Right Agents

Great article – love the metaphors.

5 Reanna

This is my favorite post so far! Very well written!

6 Salvatore

This is a great post, I like how the author was brief on the zombies then was really good at relating it to internet marketing. Very Smart.

7 Muhammad

Yeah Zombies! My favorites are “double tap” and “check the back seat”


Love the title…

Content left me wanting.

BTW Us getting chased by Zombies = you getting tripped.

9 SEO Wien

I love your comment “You are at your most vulnerable to a Zombie when you are in a bathroom.” – we can all get lazy or drop out guards sometimes

10 fas

What a comparo, with a zombie, LOL.

11 Paul

Ok ,Having just gone to the Comic Con in Chicago this past week end this was so good. My son even made me go to the zombie ball. Wild time,great post

12 wp sales engine

Getting round a frame breaker http://ow.ly/69GLq?e=596l32

13 Oscar Tignach

Surviving in the field of internet marketing is not so easy and it will take a lot of hard work. I agree to all the rules and i believe that content always work well and make work easy if you post in good quality unique content.

14 krysten

Great post! Very clever take on simple tips for successful internet marketing. My fav is “Beware of bathrooms.” This is true in more ways than one. :)

15 Renee

Great metaphor, never would have thought of it in this way. Honestly not what I was expecting, but it definitely works.

16 Document Destruction

You are officially my hero! Excellent post. Double Tap is my favorite if we are voting!

17 Ted Sheibar

Awesome :) #2 is pretty great, but all of them are very pertinent and form a solid basis. I’d only add one more…

12. Think Ahead. Zombies are dim-witted and outsmarting them can mean the difference between life or death. In Internet Marketing, you must always stay on top of the latest industry trends, such as in user behavior and traffic trends. Clinging to the same tactics that were killer 10 years ago are likely not the most effective today.

18 Portable Chicken Coop

A great post, for me cardio and seat belts certainly ring true. Thanks.

19 Divya@ Make Money Online

excellent tips, will it be useful for normal niche sites.

20 Judith @ social media management

What a great post.. Love the zombie rules..:) It makes me laugh as well as learned a lot from this post.

21 Eddie

Title of the post is eye-catching but there’s too many pointers to consider. Other than that it’s a good article.

22 security solutions

Posting regular unique content and promoting the content constantly is always a good idea. Rest ways are well given in your post with all tricks and techniques.

23 TYCP Magazine

This is seriously the best guest post I’ve seen in a long time, bar none. I love that you used zombies.

24 curtoons

Thanks for the awesome comments everyone! I had fun writing this. I love Zombies almost as much as I love making money online so this was a natural fit for me.

25 william medrano

Very interesting, I’ll check also the other articles on this page :) Thanks for the info

26 may herras

I think I will become a great follower.Just want to say your article is striking. The clarity in your post is simply striking and i can take for granted you are an expert on this subject.

27 Ryan

Guess none of your daily readers have seen Zombie Land.

28 David

I have no idea that surviving zombies and Internet marketing are so similar. Thanks for the entertaining read…and educational as well. :)

29 ACL Handweaver

Watch out or you might become a zombie if you don’t follow #11!

30 Don Lawrence

As Frank Zappa so eloquently phrased it “I am a zombie wolf, I’m the creature all the ladies been talkin’ about….”

31 Jess

Great article here! I was completely entertained the whole way through.

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