Maybe You Should Have Given Fatty A Piece

by Jeremy Schoemaker on April 4, 2011 · 48 comments

This past weekend I went back to my home town of Moline, IL for my parents 40th anniversary. My mom was a high school teacher and there was a ton kids who showed up to pay respects to my parents.

One girl who showed up was in my class of 1992. In High School she was totally smoking hot, probably the hottest girl in our class (she still looks good BTW for late 30’s).

Anyway she told me she didn’t use Facebook so I am guessing she will never see this since she isn’t online =P.

Long story short she came up to me and was like, “Hey please don’t take offense to this but in High School you super overweight, total loser who could not hold a job, and really everyone always felt sorry for your mom cause you were always getting in trouble. So what happened? Now you look good, and are very successful from what I hear”.

I looked at her and said, “Well, I got laid”.

She laughed and asked if a lot of chicks who would not have given me the time of day in High School find me online and hit me up.

I told her, “sure”.

She said, “what do you say to them”?

I told her I tell them, “Maybe you should have gave fatty a piece”.

About the author...

Jeremy Schoemaker – who has written 2424 posts on ShoeMoney.com.

Hi I am Jeremy Schoemaker and ShoeMoney.com is my blog. 99% of the post here are done by me but you will see others occasionally make guest posts. This blog is fun to write but for my day job I run several online companies.

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{ 48 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Matt justice April 4, 2011 at 6:26 am

LOL fuckin awesome!

2 Eric April 4, 2011 at 10:39 am

Brilliant post:D

3 Todd Mintz April 4, 2011 at 10:50 am

I’m pretty sure some variant of this applies to many of us in the online marketing space… :.)

4 Geiger April 4, 2011 at 10:54 am

Well, I think you just found the perfect title for your autobiography!

5 Brian Evans April 4, 2011 at 11:03 am

You tell ‘em!

6 Chozen April 4, 2011 at 11:06 am

Ha haaaa, love it. ? We never really out grow High School huh? Fortunately I never had a problem in High School, I was part of the cool crowd. Not bragging or anything but it was what it was.

It’s funny though, never thought I’d be doing what I’m doing now. Can’t wait for my reunion to see how everyone turned out 10 years later, I’m good.

7 Jon April 4, 2011 at 11:26 am

So did you do her?

8 TYCP Magazine April 4, 2011 at 11:53 am

Great story with a perfect ending. They always say that the people who were outsiders, looked at as losers, etc. are the ones who become successful in life, both business & love-wise.

9 Erik April 4, 2011 at 12:09 pm

Money!!

10 Christine April 4, 2011 at 12:26 pm

Nice one…

11 Paul Avery April 4, 2011 at 2:04 pm

I wouldn’t give it to someone that I was not interested in because I was told that in 10 years they were going to be successful… in fact now (if I were single) I still wouldn’t give it to someone that I was not into because they had money.

12 Robby G April 5, 2011 at 1:24 pm: @Paul: Good point. Agreed.

Reply

13 Ed April 4, 2011 at 2:23 pm

There’s no way your mother was a teacher.

14 Kevin April 4, 2011 at 3:39 pm

LOL… HOF

15 Jonathan Volk April 4, 2011 at 3:41 pm

lol

16 Jon Kennelly April 4, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Jeremy,
Crack me up “Hey please don’t take offense to this but in High School you super overweight…”
JK

17 Julio April 4, 2011 at 4:50 pm

Good stuff!

I can’t wait to hear what you would be saying at a class reunion LOL!

18 jackson April 4, 2011 at 6:30 pm

Perfect response. High school can be so difficult.

19 Travis April 4, 2011 at 8:09 pm

Totally awesome, I was a dork with piss poor grades and no athletic ability, so I just screwed around with computers and became a sw product developer. Most of the jocks are not so jockish anymore. I love going go reunions!

20 Rich Gorman April 4, 2011 at 9:11 pm

lmfao – the greatest revenge is success!

21 Phoenix April 4, 2011 at 9:29 pm

Shoemoney, that is EXACTLY what Ce Lo was singing about in his famous song “F U”
here is the link. edit it out buddy if too racy and I feel ya I was on the other end getting harassed for being a skinny geek.
http://bit.ly/ijNgRL

22 Zack Wenthe April 4, 2011 at 9:57 pm

Love it! How was the Quad Cities?

23 Brian P April 4, 2011 at 10:34 pm

Yup totally awesome man! Success is even more sweet when people did not respect you back in the day. It makes it all the more sweeter

24 fas April 5, 2011 at 1:54 am

School get togethers can be fun.

25 MicroSourcing April 5, 2011 at 2:07 am

“Hey please don’t take offense to this but in High School you super overweight…” – so you can be a woman in your late 30s and have the tact of a high school student.

26 Peter Joseph April 5, 2011 at 3:31 am

lol, that was brilliant

27 Ben April 5, 2011 at 5:11 am

I doubt you get that many girls lol

28 TYCP Magazine April 6, 2011 at 6:31 pm: He has a wife & kids, so he doesn’t need any other women. Bam.

Reply

29 ZK@Web Marketing Tips April 5, 2011 at 8:12 am

Awesome ..give them what they deserve

30 Radman April 5, 2011 at 9:04 am

Great answer! There are a few I’d love to say that to, but not the ones that…. well, you know what I mean.

31 Fotograf Wroclaw April 5, 2011 at 3:41 pm

Spot on with this write-up, I actually suppose this web site wants rather more consideration. I’ll most likely be once more to read way more, thanks for that info.

32 Mike Sprouse April 5, 2011 at 3:45 pm

That is awesome.

33 Igre April 6, 2011 at 4:00 am

Nice work done

34 Pedro Sttau April 7, 2011 at 6:31 am

Ah! Touche!

35 George H. April 7, 2011 at 4:12 pm

Shoe I absolutely laughed my ass off!!!! And it looks like you get the last laugh. Cool!

36 Stop Survey Calls April 7, 2011 at 10:40 pm

Wow, nice story!! I’m sure it would feel more than awesome to meet someone you used to study with and let them know your making millions!!

37 Earl April 10, 2011 at 4:23 am

Love that – great story. Someone already posted it – but Cee Lo’s song fits this to a T. You should totally do a mock video with the song – just for fun – haha!

38 Gene April 11, 2011 at 6:26 pm

ZING!

39 Samuel Lavoie April 16, 2011 at 11:37 am

Well done Shoe, for all the geeks that looked like losers before geeks became popular, thanks

40 camille August 26, 2011 at 2:44 pm

Hi, I am really happy I’ve found this information. Nowadays bloggers publish just about gossip and internet stuff and this is actually irritating. A good site with exciting content, that’s what I need. Thanks for making this website, and I will be visiting again.

41 marcy August 26, 2011 at 3:14 pm

42 Overweightl Loseweight September 7, 2011 at 10:53 pm

Extremely helpful thank you, I believe your subscribers would most likely want more items similar to this maintain the good work.

43 internetmarketingwithmark.org September 13, 2011 at 6:52 am

lol, this is a funny post, good on you.

44 Don Lawrence September 17, 2011 at 9:11 am

Who needs the “better than thou” bitches anyway?
They want a piece of “richy” now don’t they?

45 CoeurdAlenechiropractor September 21, 2011 at 2:55 pm

U R funny. thats awesome. like high school matters anyway. Good for u!

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47 Nick September 22, 2011 at 1:39 pm