About a month or so ago I decided I was going to stop drinking alcohol. I never drink at home but I always tie one on at conferences. I don’t have a problem (isn’t that what people with drinking problems are supposed to say?) but in my 6 years of going to about 100 different events I don’t think I have ever done one completely 100% sober…
I really came up with the plan to stop drinking after my last trip to Vegas when I got punched in the face at Rain by one guy and then later that night (early morning) got roughed up pretty good by the bouncers outside of Sapphire. On the plane home, feeling like I had an apple glued to my cheek, and my chest hurting when I took a breath, I had a bit of a ‘come to jesus’ moment and thought about my role as a husband, father, and just role model in general, and just decided I was done drinking.
I picked a hell of a time to quit drinking. Last Friday, January 15th, I got into Vegas, got home yesterday, then I leave again for another event in Vegas on Friday and come home Sunday. So in a 10 day stretch 8 of them are going to be in Las Vegas and every night is jam packed with parties.
But how the hell did I get to this point anyway? Maybe because I didn’t get invited to the cool parties as a kid, I was living it up now? Maybe I needed booze to be more social? Maybe people would not like the sober me at conferences? wtf?
Again I really don’t think I have a problem and I can come up with a million examples and excuses why. But that doesn’t matter.
So how did it go? Well actually I had totally underestimated how many other people noticed and how they reacted. After all, my plan was not to tell anybody and to just drink diet coke (everyone knows my drink of choice was diet coke and rum). I mean this was kind of a personal test… ya know?
I guess I forget I rarely ever get my own drink. People just bring me or order me skinny pirates (Diet coke/Captain Morgan). And ehhh there are the rounds and rounds of shots I normally partake in. At first I just tried to play it off and act like I was taking it easy. I had also forgotten about how well that works (ya I am being sarcastic) and then the peer pressure kicks in:
“What you’re too good to drink with me?”
“C’mon pussy drink!”
If you ever told me you were not in the mood to drink with me you probably heard me say something like those to you.
So I had to come clean with a couple people and just tell them I stopped drinking. When they asked why I just told them I would tell them later (its always fun to try to explain something important when the music is blaring).
I really think I told less then 3 people that I had stopped drinking…. but seemed like everyone knew in no time. Night after night and party after party people were coming up to me asking me what I had in my drink “making sure” I was not drinking (even ones I had not even talked to about it). It was just very strange.
Then there were those who were hell bent on trying to get me to drink. This was just disturbing. I tried to explain the situation to them about how I really just wanted to go without drinking but they still insisted on me doing a shot with them or having a drink. With 2 people I actually had to have a little sidebar with them and just be like, “Listen, I don’t want to drink. So quit being a dickhead.”
I never at any point wanted a drink. When I set my mind on something I am a really stubborn bastard about it so honestly there was never any real temptation to drink at any time. I dunno what that means about anything.
There were some major upsides to not drinking. From a business perspective I was much more productive. For this conference I had some clear cut goals, as I do for every conference, but unlike with most conferences, I was able to keep on track and accomplish everything I wanted to, plus much more.
From a social perspective everything went fine. I was still fist pumping with the best of them while Rob Hustle was on the mic at the Neverblue party or mingling with the playboy bunnies at the AzoogleAds Hefner suite.
For whatever reason “super” affiliates always come up to me and tell me what they are doing when they are completely wasted. Normally I always forget the next morning… but sober I still had a lot fresh in my mind.
I think I have discovered one of Matt “Mr Sprite” Cutts’ best secrets. Being sober at a conference has its upsides.
So what about the future? Well who knows. I think I am gonna stick with this not drinking thing for a while but don’t be surprised if you see me with a beer some time down the road.
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February 5, 2010 at 4:10 am
I stopped drinking three years ago and my productivity exploded. I highly recommend it. Plus, you’ll stay younger for longer.
Like Shoemoney, I “didn’t have a problem” but looking back there were several embarrassing incidents and I can see that I was drinking more than I should.
January 30, 2010 at 5:05 am
Great post .I have never drunk and want to go on like this, so I cant understand how tough or easy to be a SOBER.Hope this is going to be the best decision that you ever had made.All the best.
January 30, 2010 at 3:37 am
nice post. thanks.
January 26, 2010 at 5:33 pm
Great post! It really is a different experience when you are sober at a party. Like you, I don’t find the peer pressure the hard part. It’s the hanging out with the obnoxious drunks (some just act like idiots) while I’m sober that is hard!
January 26, 2010 at 2:57 pm
Great job Jeremy. It can be a big step!
There are lots of great alcohol free beers available now. Check out http://www.alcoholfreereview.com to see what is on the market (here in europe at least).
Lots of people find that drinking is just a habbit and drinking alcohol free can replace that habbit really well.
Cheers
Graham
January 26, 2010 at 2:40 pm
More power to you, dude. I’ve been sober for a little over 20 years (yeah. I had a problem). It’s worth it. As you mentioned, being able to remember stuff and be more productive is a big plus!
January 25, 2010 at 10:31 am
What I found most amazing after the booze-fog cleared when I made a decision… is realizing how many other people don’t drink. There is way more then you think. Although I could tell some amazingly-crazy stories about my past…the ones I am creating now and the connection with my kids is far more satisfying.
The only thing is I can’t seem to stop going to concerts… and they sound a whole lot better too!
theconcertaholic
January 25, 2010 at 9:59 am
I have a huge problem with people who continue to pressure you to partake in their drug of choice even after you clearly tell them you’re not interested.
It’s almost like they NEED you to partake with them so they don’t feel as bad about not being able to control their own selves. Thanks for sharing.
January 25, 2010 at 9:44 am
Good for you. You hear people say “I’m just a social drinker”, no big deal. But every time they drink socially, they get blitzed. I wish you well in your sobriety, sir.
January 22, 2010 at 8:39 am
Good to see you didn’t succumb to peer pressure! It can be hard at times
Stick to it.
January 22, 2010 at 7:55 am
Good for you for not giving into the idiotic peer pressure. It is so sad how our whole culture is wrapped up—totally—around alcohol. What a time you chose to test your personal resolve!! lol
You are an inspiration—in many ways Shoe.
January 21, 2010 at 6:40 pm
I used to be a substance abuse counselor, so I saw the damage that gets done when alcohol (or anything else) gets out of control. You are making a smart move.
January 21, 2010 at 5:42 pm
“I think I have discovered one of Matt “Mr Sprite” Cutts’ best secrets. Being sober at a conference has its upsides.”
Sshhhhh.
January 21, 2010 at 4:36 pm
proud of you. drinking is over-rated and when you stop you see who your friends are and how shallow people can be.
January 21, 2010 at 5:28 pm
I never get the people that say it’s overrated. Not everyone who drinks is doing it to act like a drunk fool. It’s possible to actually like drinking because YOU like it.
January 21, 2010 at 4:28 pm
Isn’t it weird how adults are still into peer pressure?
If it makes you better at work and you are gaining something from all of this. You are just doing one more thing better… i know this sounds plane but look at your life and what you have accomplished.. you have done allot at your age and still doing it!!! great post
January 21, 2010 at 4:12 pm
Lol. This post had to come after John Chow posted his video getting drunk and licking some guys neck.
Talking of not drinking, I feel we all tend to give more respect to people who do not drink. I am sure many will say no to this but YES we all have that in us. People who do not drink do get that extra respect from everyone else.
January 21, 2010 at 2:55 pm
Have to admit, when I saw you and you told me I was shocked! (I didn’t out you to anyone – hard to believe that many people give such a shit about whether or not you are imbibing.)
January 21, 2010 at 2:28 pm
Great post.
January 21, 2010 at 1:42 pm
Good for you. You will have a clearer head, more energy and don’t have to deal with all the extra calories.
January 21, 2010 at 1:18 pm
Good on ya. Paying the price on my every five-year reminder of why I really don’t enjoy getting wasted. I thought you were quite fun at the AZ party.
January 21, 2010 at 1:17 pm
Jeremy it’s refreshing to read you stopped drinking, and you shared. “I took a breath, I had a bit of a ‘come to jesus’ moment”
Kind Regards,
January 21, 2010 at 12:32 pm
Why do I think you’ll be wearing a ““Listen, I don’t want to drink. So quit being a dickhead.” t-shirt at the next conference?
Awesome that you’ve come to that realization and hopefully, people will respect your decision.
January 21, 2010 at 2:26 pm
Hey, I need to get into an affiliate program for that t-shirt… ork ork
January 21, 2010 at 12:29 pm
I’ll say congrats for stopping drinking for a while… I don’t know if I could stop then spend 8 days in Vegas… You’ve got some willpower…
Fuck those guys who were being jackholes… If someone can’t respect your wishes (especially on something like not drinking), they don’t deserve your company…
January 21, 2010 at 12:21 pm
Good for you to sticking with your guns, it’s one thing to say your not going to drink but it’s that much harder when it comes down to it, especially with everyone shoving drinks in your face
January 21, 2010 at 2:25 pm
Turning down free Drinks!?
That’s really hard thing to do,
esp when they’ve already bought it for you.
What you need to do is pass the drinks along to your buddies who are drinking lol.
January 21, 2010 at 12:02 pm
Ive never drank alcohol in my life. Not even 1 drink. I know how you feel being sober at the conferences. Congrats on sticking to what you told yourself you wanted to do. It’s not easy.
January 21, 2010 at 11:53 am
You did good. So what if some one does not support your decision. Keep it up!
January 21, 2010 at 11:44 am
Being sober means never having to say your sorry for last night. It also lets you see what you look like when you view others drunk on their butt. Stay with it. You owe it to yourself and your brand and family
January 21, 2010 at 11:40 am
Virgin Cuba Libre ftw! (and would you make it diet?)
January 21, 2010 at 11:28 am
Your article is interesting and really hits the mark for me.
Your statement, “maybe because I didn’t get invited to the cool parties as a kid” is, IMHO, the origination lots of things we do as adults but don’t really understand why.
January 21, 2010 at 11:26 am
my favorite part of this whole post was when you had to take people aside and say:
“Listen, I don’t want to drink. So quit being a dickhead.”
i have experienced this same things many times in my life, because i don’t drink. I have never understood why people who drink need to have everyone around them drink as well.
Hey i don’t care if people drink as long as they don’t drive drunk, but if I tell you i’m not going to drink, don’t make it your personal quest to make sure i drink.
January 21, 2010 at 11:20 am
Good to know I won’t be the only person not drinking at Affiliate Summit.
-Janet
@Newspapergrl
January 21, 2010 at 11:20 am
More power to you, man! You and I chatted twice at the Affiliate Summit East this past year, and you looked fine. (There was another well-known blogger there who definitely appeared to be hung over; if not still drunk).
For myself, I’ve recently cut back, but haven’t quit altogether. I would have one or two cocktails, at home, on a daily basis. Usually gin or vodka. Now I’ve cut out the hard stuff completely, and now I only have 2 or 3 beers for the week. Mostly with dinner.
Keep up the good work!
January 21, 2010 at 11:19 am
Good for you! I was never much of a drinker and I pretty much got it all out of my system as a teenager.
I know what you mean about people trying to convince you to drink – I still get that to this day, so I typically order a club soda with lime just so it looks like I’m drinking, to shut them up. People *really* seem to take it personally if you don’t drink. Maybe it’s a “holier than thou” thing. But it’s really annoying. If I said no thanks, I stopped taking heroin, would they still try to convince me to shoot up?
January 21, 2010 at 11:17 am
Jeremy,
I think it’s just awesome that you recognized the issue and how it was or could potentially impact on the life you live and want to continue living.
Personally, it wasn’t just a “x times a year” thing for me – I’m a downright addict, and alcohol was one of my drugs. It’s been over 5 years since I got clean / sober and the ability to be present when opportunities appear has grown exponentially as a result.
But now I’m upset because you went and gave out one of the best kept secrets of being sober when everyone else is piss-ass drunk. Now how am I supposed to get the scoop on those with loose lips?
January 21, 2010 at 11:16 am
When I was going to academic conventions all of the good “panels” took place in the bar. The “legends” would sit and pontificate while we lessers–grad students and Asst. Profs would soak it up. By the time I became the one who was supposed to pontificate, I recognized how pathetic that ritual was and preferred to sit in my room and drink alone. Of course at the worst of it there were never any bar fights. If someone said “What are you, a pussy?” the proper answer was “Why yes. As a matter of fact I am.”
January 21, 2010 at 11:16 am
Hey man, congrats on quitting. I did the same thing a few years back – now I still drink, but I’ll have like 2 beers in a night. It really helps productivity in the morning AND it’s actually really good for you from a calorie perspective (and probably a shitload of others too). Depending on the drink, there can be anything from 100 to 600 calories in it. Skinny pirates are like 150 I think.
January 21, 2010 at 11:14 am
tee hee that was so awesome! You must have all of my friends! Kudos to you!
January 21, 2010 at 10:52 am
I quit drinking once. Then someone told me, “alcholics normally quit for a short period of time, just to prove they can.”
I decided they were right. I am never giving drinking up again, dont want people thinking im an alcholic do I?
January 21, 2010 at 11:25 am
I’ve heard that said, too, Stuart. I quit for a complete year. Not sure that qualifies as a short time. If you’re going to drink,do it in moderation. Some people just can’t keep themselves from getting blitzed.
January 21, 2010 at 10:11 am
Drunk and drive is very bad thing ,i noticed in life.But socially drinking is not bad.
Habitual of drinking is very bad.
If you are trying to quiet, it is good.
January 21, 2010 at 10:06 am
This really cool……..
January 21, 2010 at 9:36 am
I tried to quit drinking recently. Then I got dumped.
Broads may come and go, but the sauce will always be there.
Sweet sweet sauce…
January 21, 2010 at 4:26 pm
“Sweet sweet sauce…”
no more Homer Simpson voices lol
January 21, 2010 at 9:32 am
Congrats man I think you made a smart move for yourself and for your family. Keep it up and congrats to you. Glad you still had an awesome time.
January 21, 2010 at 9:28 am
Congrats Shoe. While I think we’ve all had our share of drinking at conferences, it sometimes takes an experience like you had in order to finally cross the bridge and come over to the side that doesn’t party as hard – and as you mentioned, having a clear mid helps you remember a lot of great information that people blab about when feeling the buzz…
January 21, 2010 at 8:55 am
Excellent choice. I’m 30 now and I can’t remember the last time I was drunk. I still have a few drinks but I never get drunk anymore. It has something to do with being a husband and father also.
Great post.
January 21, 2010 at 8:52 am
Good for you Jeremy! I gave up smoking after 25 years, several weeks ago… Not the same as drinking for sure, but none the less, I have become much more productive and feel more-better every day!
Mark
January 21, 2010 at 8:28 am
Glad to see I am not the only one that gave up alcohol for the New Year. Personally, I just got sick of waking up feeling like shit.
I’ve become so in tune with my body that even after a night last year, with only one drink, I could still feel a change for the worse in my body.
I told myself no alcohol until April (when baseball season starts). But, who knows, maybe by then I won’t miss it at all and won’t even have any. It’ll be really hard to go to Yankee Stadium and not have a beer though.
Best of luck to you.
January 21, 2010 at 8:13 am
This is GREAT news! 1st off congratulations – not for stop drinking rather for putting your mind to something as addictive as a ‘couple drinks’ in that type of atmosphere. This is how I quit smoking – going on over a year and a half now…with no regrets!
Keep rocking Jeremy!
January 21, 2010 at 6:26 am
It shows you have a good business head on your shoulders.
If i were to attend one of the meets. I think my reason wouldn’t be not wanting to drink but not being able to afford too
So this secret, gonna remain that way? Heh well you can’t blame me for trying.
Good xmas? Not been online for a bit.
Oh and this page is terrible for a mobile. 8mb download.
January 21, 2010 at 7:42 am
This page is extremely bloated in general.
Jeremy, I generally think this is an awesome decision. Its one I made about 2 years ago and I don’t regret it at all.
January 21, 2010 at 6:20 am
Well done Shoe! I think you made a great decision.