I would like to start out by saying this post is a joke…. If I have ever talked to you and one of these happened it was purely a coincidence
We have all been there. You’re at a social event – a conference, a party wherever. You need to bail out of the conversation you’re having with someone. Maybe they’re boring, maybe they are trying to pitch you some retarded idea, maybe they have bad breath… you need to bail, here are my tips.
Two Eyed Blink Pretty much anyone in the industry that knows me knows about the two eyed blink. If I am talking to someone and look at them and blink with both of my eyes it means come get me the hell out of this conversation.
Wanna Grab Some Coffee Most of my team knows if I am talking to someone and look at them and ask if they want to grab some coffee it means get me the hell out of this conversation.
Bathroom Check If you’re solo and in a pinch you can just simply interrupt the person and say “Hey do you know where the bathroom is? I was just on my way. I will catch up with you later”
I Gotta Thing Much like the bathroom check this is a good solo technique as well. Be polite and say – “Hey it was a pleasure talking with you. I gotta thing in 5 minutes lets catch up.”
Well those are my tips. I cant wait to hear yours!
About the author...
Jeremy Schoemaker – who has written 2473 posts on ShoeMoney.com.
Hi I am Jeremy Schoemaker and ShoeMoney.com is my blog. 99% of the post here are done by me but you will see others occasionally make guest posts. This blog is fun to write but for my day job I run several online companies.
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{ 87 comments… read them below or add one }
Steal their shoes and watch hotel staff do the rest
funny..I have seen this work in real life!
What if the person says Yes, when its Wanna Grab Some Coffee ??
If you will think in this manner than I do not think that any excuse will work here …
Feigning illness (or in severe cases death) can work, but I’m still waiting for the bluetooth gadget built into a ring that can call your mobile to get you out of that ‘dull-as-ditchwater’ moment.
“ring ring” – “What…. my mother…. the goat!!… and that packet of cakemix!!!?? Oh No, I’ll be there straight away… just don’t let her call the police again”
haha, you mean like in the king of queens, when he feigned heart attacks because he couldnt remember peoples names!
If the party is at our house, and I get stuck with an annoying party goer, my wife will usually know who these people are, and rescue me. She’ll normally go with the “hey hon, could you help me with something in the kitchen for a minute”. Works every time.
Isn’t it horrible when you know ahead of time the people that you don’t really want to make distant eye contact with because you know you’ll get sucked into the conversation from hell which even light cannot escape.
Its always good to have people you know at the events to help bail you out
I pull out my cell phone and pretend to have just received a text from someone that I need to go and meet right away.
LOL… I’ve done this many times as well… “Excuse me, its my mom.”
I gotta thing is genius! It sounds like a “wingman” is essential for all social events.
You could just always start every interaction with a false time constraint; you’re excuse it built in, and if you decide to keep talking to them, they feel extra important!
HAHA! Wingman, you only ever hear that kind of stuff with pickup artists. Yeah it sounds like a wingman would be perfect for social events such as these.
I’m pretty fortunate/unfortunate to not have experienced one of these situations, maybe next year I can make it to some conferences.
The problem with “I gotta thing…” is you HAVE to leave the social function you’re at, or your cover is blown. With the bathroom remark, you’re safe only until the person sees you again, but at that point, you could probably use I Gotta Thing because it’s obvious that party’s not for you.
Don’t forget the classic pick up the phone and answering it, “well got to go talk with you later…”
I always use the last excuse and it works great.
I think most of people who get our excuses will definitely know what’s going on….
But, the main objective is it doesn’t matter what kind of excuses we make as long as we have tried our best to be ‘polite’ in ditching those people.
Win-win situation right?
Uh oh, now the double blink is out of the bag!
Just do the fake cell phone call….i cant tell you how many times I’ve walked down the hall/street to see a person who I would like to avoid like the plague…..pull out the phone, look at it like you are getting a call, and stick it to your ear…walk on buy and give an acknowledgement nod only….
Something involving a cell phone usually works…
I find frothing at the mouth will usually vacate my personal space….
And to think – when you were double-blinking and said you needed to go to the bathroom from all the coffee you’d drank at that thing you’d been at – I believed you!!!
I like to keep my patience and see through it… but sometimes it just is too much to take, and here is what i do then, “bore the boring” tough but works.
try to be an ultra bore and get the boring guy bored, he will never try to bore you again,
cheers!
LOL. Shoe, this is one of my favorite posts of yours. — Sprouse
funny info
Million thanks : )
I would definitely go for the cell phone trick!
Two eye blink, heh… I usually just pay no attention and pretty much ignore they notice or look for people I may know around and says something like “I got to go talk to blabla, thanks for sharing, talk to you later, good luck” and go talk to a friend instead
I’ve used this before: “… uhhhh… no habla ingles. sori.” (with an accent)
just grab the iphone app ‘fake calls’ and be like excuse me got a important call coming in.
Do you think that only you knows about fake call application
I would prefer to excuse in such manner that no one get hurt.
Hrm… this is stuff I do.
Works really well too!
Just do the “I’ve got your card, so let’s connect after the show so we can have a real conversation without noise and in private.” It’s so hard to give anyone attention for more than a minute at a show. I think that’s a fair way to do it for them and you. I do this.
I’m like “Hold up… is that SHOEMONEY? I gotta go meet that dude…” Then I bounce
The cell phone trick always works for me!
Oh.. that’s a good excuses you have there…
Cant wait to have my own version of that!!..
like it.. LOL..
Seems like all of the top three can be countered by a shameless person…^-^
Two-eyed blink: don’t get it. Let’s continue the conversation.
Coffee: Yes. Let’s grab one together.
Bathroom.: Oh, yes. I’ve been wanting to go as well.
If the dude wants to go to the bathroom with you then he belongs in the genre neutral restroom in the coffee shop down the street.
Andi, I think you missed the point.
For #1 and #2, he’s not making the sign at the offender, but at a staff member or friend. It’s the prompt for the third party to come up and save your ass with a line like “Hey, excuse me to interrupt. Shoe, there’s a problem on the MMAction.com site. Can I talk to you in private for a moment.”
#3 depends on the person has just a little sense of privacy and is not going to follow you into the bathroom, but yeah, that one could fail.
How about the one where you say “I have a friend I want to introduce you to?” and you basically ditch them on someone else
I gotta thing always work. Phone Call, I don’t fake it but If i receive a call. I make it an important one no matter who calls. I would say ” I gotta take this call. It’s very important. Excuse me!
But what if you did not get the call … than how you will handle that one.
Hilarious! You totally pulled that one in the Mixergy.com interview you gave to Andrew Warner. I think the direct quote was something like … “Hey I’ve got a webinar in like 3 minutes can we continue this later”. Good stuff, I like it.
This is pretty funny! I love the double-eye-blink! My sister and I are a year apart (same birthday – so twins but not LOL) and all growing up people said we were “connected” and could communicate with our eyes and we really did understand each others eyes … so this one had me cracking up. *SmiLes* Suzanne
Good tips. I usually try to walk away during a laughing moment. If that doesn’t work, go with the bathroom or lunch break.
I just picture them naked. That way I have an entertained smile on my face, a little chuckle and now we are both enjoying the conversation.
Hey Jeremy,
I personally use similar tricks: Cell, Loo & coffee. But this “thing” sounds cool.
But that isn’t the most important thing. I liked the thing that you are getting your readers into Social event mode through the fun, simple & interactive topic like the genius one you came up with: Unique & helpful.
Every time you post a comment on my blog I have no idea what your talking about. Im glad my blog isnt the only one you do this on. LOL
When I get bore by talking with someone I use your tips Bathroom Check, I want to get rid of that people by saying “hey man where is the bathroom?
Lol
The “I gotta thing” is the most popular one of them all.
It’s the one I use when I need to get away from an annoying human being haha.
Sorry, I “got a thing” now.
See ya later.
I think my car is being towed, Ill just check that :p
Oh, look at the time.. I think I need to go home and floss my cat’s teeth
I usually use the standard, my testicles feel like they are eating each other, i need to go check on that. You never get questioned.
The bathroom thing is useful. Especially useful at your grandparents birthdays. They have like 50 annoying friends who all wanna know what you do. “uh I dont have a real job, I make websites” , better just go to the bathroom.
I’ve got one that you can use on the phone.
If someone is going on and on and you want to hang up, you break in with “Hey, before I forget, I gotta tell you this. So, yesterday I was talking to [click]” and you hang up on yourself.
Then you just don’t answer the phone if the person calls back. “Yeah, I don’t know what’s going on with my phone line lately”
Naah … this will not even work for 10 years old kid.
You can try it if you want to keep the safe distance from him for your whole life.
Hanging up doesn’t work as well as pulling out your battery. That way when they call back it goes straight to voice mail
Reminds me of all the schemes to get out of a bad date
What if we blink the eyes because our habits and not deliberately? Do you also stop your conversation?
Hey,
I met you at a conference when you had a booth, and I asked you just a couple simple questions and you pulled that same shit. You said I have to go to the bathroom then you just went to the other side of the room. Are you just trying to explain that you are a douche bag? Because at the Playboy event you came up to me, and just kept talking and talking, and wouldn’t shut up. I think the reality is that basically your a nice friendly guy when your drunk, and a complete douche when sober. Either way your blog is entertaining, but you might not want to brag so much about how you are douche.
I call bullshit.
You are not afraid to go up and talk to Jeremy at events but you are to much of a pussy to leave your real name and site?
its not about being a pussy, think about it, what do I have to gain from leaving my company name, I’m just saying Jeremy shouldn’t brag about a technique that makes him look like a douche, saying you have to go to the bathroom then walking twenty feet and coming back is being a douce bag, just be honest, stick out your hand and say it was nice to meet you, and its easy to get the message
phone is the reasonable way to ditch annoying peoples. its mostly work for me
Females are really smart in these kind of things … remember Sandra Bullock in Speed I when she run away from a guy in bus by giving gum excuse …
Ask girls and they will handover a long list.
Yeah, (attractive) women have to deal with annoying people as much, if not more than (online) celebrities. I guess that’s why some people think they are rude?
Wow great tips. This is helpful to me since i really am not in mood most of the time to talk with annoying people and still I dont have any way to express ‘the get the hell outta here’ thing.
how about the ringing fone thing?
Well I personally would prefer the fake call thing in my mobile. It would certainly be helpful.I also try putting my hands into my pocket, trying to look as natural as possible and play any tune. When it starts playing just pretend that it is a call and take it up. Dont forget to keep the phone in silent mode though. Else you might get caught since the hello tune might be something else that your friend just heard
Replace coffee with a drink at the bar and that’s my thing. No one can say no to the bar.
What a conundrum! Been in it many times- great suggestions- the thing I hate is once you ditch, then you just keep running into them awkwardly!!!
Nice list. i’ve used the bathroom break on more than one occasion in the past.
It’s pretty amazing what you can do online ..It was not that long ago that you were wondering who just called your when you were not
)
at home. Now you can only see who’s the unknown caller .. and also spy on who’s talking to your lover
It’s crazy … You can even find the address by a simple phone number.. Wonder what’s gonna come next ?
If it’s the beginning of a conversation that seems inevitably going the wrong way, you can say: “It’s hard to believe I’m standing here with you. Just this week I had the most amazing dream of someone who turned out to be your brother (or sister).” This is most effective if you choosing the siblign of the same sex as yourself, and the chatter has any homophobic tendancies.
That is classic! Sometimes people can be such a drain.
How about just being plain honest. There’s some ppl I want to catch up with so it was nice talking to u & we could catch up a bit later.
Well sure that situation would be easy…. but thats not what I was referring to.
coffee.. yeah this is what i need to release my stress out of my brain
It may be a joke, but a funny one. Good tricks!
I think in situations like these honesty is the best policy, honestly.
I think that honesty is always the best policy but how you portray that honesty can hurt the relationship. Saying you are annoying the crap out of me or that you are boring me to tears could hurt your reputation.
But, saying do you want to grab a cup of coffee or simply saying, “Hey, it was great talking to you” lets you exit out of the conversation without being obviously rude.
I’m a “I’ve gotta thing” sorta guy myself……usually it’s a conference call I need to be on, and if I see that person again about 5 minutes later, I gotta act like I’m intently focused on the phone conversation…..
What if the person says Yes, when its Wanna Grab Some Coffee ?
If they say yes, then you can say: “Oh, I forgot – I’m afraid I have a meeting and we’ll have to do it some other time; but let me see if I can find my interesting friend named Jeremy. He’s always thirsty and good conversation…”
I usually just say… “Alright… I’m done talking to you now. Take Care.”
It’s not just parties. I get people coming in and sitting down in my office constantly. Just because they think they have nothing to do they should do it with you. My excuse is always the bathroom.
Hey, you forgot the most common way of getting out of there: Whip your cellphone out of your pocket and say “Damn! I was supposed to call someone”.
That gets me out of the most redundant conversations
The bathroom one is always the winner. “Did you want another drink?” is a good one. If you bump into them after-ward’s just say that you forgot because you bumped onto so and so. Another good one is to just whip your phone out and answer it and make a b-line for the door.
First I will put one of my hands in my pocket. After 5 -10 minutes, I will pull my hand out real quick with my cellphone like someone from the White House calls. Then excuse myself for the “important” call.
It may be a joke post, but it’s cool. Isn’t it always best to be honest?
This usually does it!
“I wonder if you can help me, I’m a recruiter & fund raiser for a religious cult. What’s the available credit on your credit card?” ;>)
I would grab the coffee.
That is the best approach…
Nice post.