I was having a interesting discussion with my wife the other night about texting. My wife is a text maniac and in her work they use it constantly as a communication tool. But its not a very intimate form of communication to her because its used so often and her number is out to so many people many times she gets texts from people that are more like news bulletins.
But my wife applies this to her texting life and sends me out texts like we were sitting in the same room together… always reminding me of a meeting we have later that night… or a upcoming vacation… and it annoys the crap out of me.
So here is what I am talking about and its probably different for everybody.
For me I have various things I use and they all have different levels of intimacy.
Texting and AOL Instant Messenger I take VERY seriously and for me it is the highest level of intimacy. When I see a message or a text I feel like I have to respond. So when people contact me and are like hey is this shoemoney and I am like yes and they are like “whats up?”. I can’t tell you how annoying that is. Fortunately (now) I have figured out how to only allow people I manually add to get ahold of me and that has made a huge difference with these.
With Phone Calls, Facebook messages, Twitter, and Email I do not consider these a high priority. I do not stop what I am doing to look at these messages.
I would say 99% of my phone calls goto voice mail. This is usually because throughout my day I am either talking to someone in person or on the phone already. If someone leaves a message they are transcribed by a service I use called phonetag and then emailed to me where I usually email the person back later.
I try my best with email and twitter to respond to everyone who asks me a question. With over 25k followers and gaining a few hundred a day this is a pretty difficult task but I usually only get about 25 or so questions a day that I can fire back at.
I really like twitter and email because I can respond when I want to. It is not intrusive on my day.
So that’s my thoughts on communication. How do you handle it?
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April 20, 2009 at 3:24 pm
I take email, Twitter, and Facebook very seriously, and I also take and return all phone calls, though I don’t get many business-related phone calls. 1. I’m a new business, and 2. I manage my online communication very well.
IMs actually drive me nuts. I prefer the more static forms, because I can give people’s messages the time and attention they deserve.
It’s easy to say this now, while I’m new and relatively small potatoes. That could well change as my business grows.
I think communication can be as intimate as the parties involved make it.
Jen M.
JenniferLynn Productions, LLC
April 19, 2009 at 4:29 am
If you keep your personal and business contacts separate it is good. Then set up a friendly auto responder on your business communications letting people know you are busy and do your best to respond. That’s my approach.
April 19, 2009 at 4:31 am
I say the auto responder because once it becomes a problem you really don’t have time to read and respond to all of your mail.
April 16, 2009 at 12:11 am
Levels of Intimacy in Communication of course depends on the person using it. I find e-mail a lot useful because apart from the personal messages and business matters in my inbox, it doesn’t ring every time, well except if you have in on mbile alert. However for me, Twitter and other social networks will rank 2nd or 3rd in my list because for the youth nowadays its just a means of connecting with friends and sometimes a jungle of a contest to see who has the largest network, but if you are an entrepreneur and use these social sites, then maybe you can rank it 2nd in your list.
April 10, 2009 at 9:49 am
I try to respond back as soon as possible on phone call and text and messenger( when I’m on). But the facebook and twitter I don’t check that often so those are a little slow on the response time.
April 9, 2009 at 1:43 pm
Its the matter of time. Now a days we people have very less time and hence we would like to use maximum of that.
April 9, 2009 at 10:25 am
I would say that with MSN and Text Messages I have to reply as they know that I am on MSN or the phone is on unlike with me email and such where they won’t know if im online or not.
April 8, 2009 at 5:48 pm
I prefer email too. I hate phone because people can start nagging you with useless questions and wasting your time.
If you answer with vague responses then you sound rude, but sometimes it’s the only way to get rid of an inconvenient call that’s not beeing productive at all.
April 20, 2009 at 3:26 pm
I agree with this. For some reason, talking on the phone tires me out, too. It may just be that I’ve gotten so used to communicating electronically.
The phone is definitely not my favorite means of communicating, but when I must use it for my business, I absolutely give the person on the other end the respect and attention they deserve. If I’m not up to taking a call, I let it go to voice mail, but I always return calls.
Jen M.
JenniferLynn Productions, LLC
April 8, 2009 at 2:52 pm
For me phone calls came first and foremost. This is the still the best and fastest way to communicate. Personally I think texting has completely got out of hand. Here in Colorado they are about to make it illegal to do while you drive.
April 8, 2009 at 11:55 am
Nice article, thats true based on everything you mentioned. I have to agree.
Dinono.com
April 8, 2009 at 10:33 am
For the business I will prefer email any phone
call handle by my secretary.
I have 2 phones one for business (phonetag)
and personal for family.
April 8, 2009 at 10:27 am
I keep my phone number private and share with only my friends and family. I use email for business this seems to work for me and I don’t get harrased at all hours of the day.
April 8, 2009 at 7:15 am
i don’t give my number except friends.i use email for a new person other wise social media.
April 8, 2009 at 6:13 am
me too, i use email, instant messaging and texting! i only give my phone number to friends.
April 8, 2009 at 4:47 am
The most important to me are phone calls and text messages. Most of those who call or text me are the important people in my life.
Email, tweets and other social networking messages are my lowest priority.
April 8, 2009 at 4:25 am
I do not give my phone number to anyone except my friends. Email is for business, phone is for friends. That’s how it works for me
April 8, 2009 at 1:12 am
Very similar to my hierarchy of communication. Texts and Instant Messages almost always get an immediate response. If I recognize the phone number calling me I almost always answer but I ignore most numbers I don’t recognize and deal with them later. E-mails I get around to when I feel like it but that is usually within a day. Luckily I don’t get hundreds of people trying to contact me every day.
April 8, 2009 at 2:13 am
I love voicemail because I can screen my calls.
Sometimes I don’t have the headspace to deal with some people.
This is a very interesting post.
Thanks for writing about these things
April 8, 2009 at 12:46 am
I have a couple forms of communication that I try to keep to just those that are very important for me to stay in contact with. My biggest tool is Skype IM. I like instant gratification. If I need an answer right away I use Skype. Since I treat it as important so do the others that I have as contacts.
The other IM’s I have, Like Yahoo or MSN I barely log into anymore because I gave them out to too many people and I get bombarded as soon as I log in!
Texting is another intimate form of communication. I will usually stop what I’m doing to read a text, but not necessarily respond to right away unless it’s from our CEO or my kids.
It’s so annoying when you give out your phone number and people call you for the smallest thing or just to whine. Like you, Jeremy, I answer about 1% of calls…but I’m pretty crappy about even getting around to listening to VM’s too. I’ll let them pile up then do a quick delete.
Emails are right under IM. Most are set up on Outlook so I can see a blurb of what it’s about as it comes in and decide if I have time to open it now. I appreciate emails though, because people…well, MOST people, understand that you are busy and will reply as soon as you have a chance.
April 8, 2009 at 12:33 am
Definitely a very large range of intimacy among different routes of communications. Will face to face ever go out of style?
April 20, 2009 at 3:31 pm
I would hope not. I think face-to-face is still potentially the very best way to make a connection and secure business.
Jen M.
JenniferLynn Productions, LLC
April 7, 2009 at 11:53 pm
I’ve close everything. Phone. Twitter. Email. Lights. After that I go in a dark corner with a laptop and enjoy a moment of silence
If somebody reaches me, I know that he really has something worth saying…
April 7, 2009 at 8:13 pm
I get tons of phone calls – I actually have 3 cell phones!!
I get a lot of txt msgs also. Plus I gets tons of emails. I do feel sometimes I have too many ways for people to contact me
April 7, 2009 at 7:42 pm
mine was email, i gave it more priority than others
April 7, 2009 at 5:57 pm
I’m the exact same way, I hate the phone and love email and AIM. I should just remove my phone number from my business cards.
April 7, 2009 at 6:43 pm
Hey Zac!
I was just printing my business cards last week and changed my mind about number last minute.
What I did was got nice to remember IP number that I can configure online. Than I redirected it to my mobile. I was tired of people calling me on my cellphone.
That way I can change the number and people wont even notice cause they thing they are calling IP.
April 7, 2009 at 5:35 pm
I probably place the highest importance on texts, then email. Phonecalls are way down the list. I don’t respond to voicemail unless it’s life or death. I just hate being caught out on the phone without the time to reflect and review and consider my answers.
April 7, 2009 at 4:47 pm
I use AOL and a service called Sprint Relay all the time. It is because I am hearing impaired. I am not deaf, I just have the luxury of not understanding a damn thing people say to me on the phone or in person. For he people that really have to talk on a phone and are not able to use a computer I just forward their calls to my sister.
I look at IM as my main way of communication and I hate it when people just come on to say what’s up, or what are you doing. DUH I am responding to you, you idiot is what I say most of the time.
My favorite words to say when I do try and talk on the phone is HUH or what did you say. I just love saying that to people that know I cannot hear well and still prefer to call me.
April 20, 2009 at 3:35 pm
For this reason, my BF has removed his CapTel phone, and we no longer have a land line. He has a cell phone for texting, and he does not give that out except to family and close friends.
Whenever someone INSISTS he call them on the phone, he calls them to the mat for discriminating against the deaf/HoH and reminds them that there are ways of communicating online.
Sorry to hijack the thread–this behavior drives me nuts!
Jen M.
April 7, 2009 at 3:41 pm
I have twittered you many times but sadly you never even replied to me not even once.
April 7, 2009 at 4:02 pm
hmmm do you make sense ?
April 7, 2009 at 11:12 pm
hahaha yes =) they were a few general questions
April 7, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Jeremy,
I have spent the last two days, pulling a “Gary Vaynerchuck” and attempting to answer the 11,000 unread emails in my Inbox.
I’m losing this battle, and may need to hire someone to read, filter, and forward the essential emails.
In my on-line efforts, I find myself distracted by the latest ‘whatever’ on Twitter, FriendFeed, Facebook, SocialSpark, YouTube and a hundred other Social Media sites, and my campaigns get pushed to the back burner.
(Also $$ zero dollars $$ for campaign spend click-budgets is cramping my style as well!)
Without admin skills I’m sitting on several domains with zero content, blogs on blogger ( I know why send traffic to Google?) and the whole challenge seems insurmountable.
I have won Online Profits courseware with no time to watch or read, just won Joel Comm’s book ‘Twitter Power’, and won a ML Flip Mino HD camcorder on John Chow’s contest.
All of these gifts are encouraging me to continue, but my enthusiasm is waning with all the ‘maintenance’ required to run my business.
When I first met you at BlogWorld Expo 2008, ( I was the video guy), you encouraged me by stating, “I hope to hear your success story next year”.
I’m not quitting, but it may take another year or two to see any results to my “un-focused efforts”.
I don’t have a ‘brand’ which may be a large part of the negative results to date?
Respectfully,
Nicholas Chase
http://www.twitter.com/nachase
April 7, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Shoe your a very busy person. Email is important but Twitter i treat like how I tread Orkut :p
April 7, 2009 at 2:17 pm
I am about the same as you. I can’t answer my phone as often as I would like. If I did, that is all I would do most of the day and I get nothing done. The frustrating thing for me is I have to “dumb down” my forms of communication because most of my clients are not very technologically savvy.
I usually email my wife though because I know she will look there right away as that is where her sales leads go.
April 7, 2009 at 2:06 pm
O.K. I’ll stop calling
April 7, 2009 at 2:06 pm
To feel close to the person you married, you first have to trust them. That includes knowing that they are there for you if you need them. An intimate relationship is a supportive one. When you appreciate, and encourage the person you love on a consistent basis you are forming an intimate bond. Rejecting your spouse in any way is pulling away at those trust levels that marriage so much needs. Couples need and want to feel secure and emotionally involved with their partner
April 7, 2009 at 12:37 pm
IM sux. Everytime someone asks me to go on IM, I reinstall it on my computer (and then uninstall it when I’m done).
April 7, 2009 at 12:03 pm
I’m a huge texter and AIM user. It is what I like to use as my main source of communication. These methods are short, concise, and instantaneous. They also feel much more intimate than an email that may or may not get lost in the shuffle.
April 7, 2009 at 11:56 am
I rank my various contact points according to this list:
1. Snailmail
2. SMS (text)
3. MSN/Yahoo messenger
4. Facebook
5. Other community websites, including their private messaging systems
6. Phone
7. Twitter
8. E-mail
April 9, 2009 at 11:55 am
its strange to see that you have put twitter at no 7
April 7, 2009 at 10:37 am
Everyone sees the levels of intimacy in communication differently, apparent in reading your post, followed by those that have already commented on it.
Personally, the most intimate interaction and communication is in person of course, followed directly by texting simply because people can reach me through texts at times when I am otherwise indisposed. And though I never feel pressured or obligated to respond, I do try to ALWAYS respond,because if you mean enough to me to have my cell phone number, it means you are a priority in my life, and I want you to be able to get in touch with me whenever you need to.
I also think, in a world where we have SO much technology, so many ways to communicate, (and it grows every day) that we are losing the art of intimate communication, so I try hard to maintain intimacy whenever possible.
April 7, 2009 at 10:35 am
I still rank Facebook as being pretty important, because I still limit that to mostly friends and relatives.
April 7, 2009 at 10:25 am
Interesting Read. I’ve actually had this conversation before. Twitter is an interesting animal. I never feel pressured to respond to a dm or @….but so far, when I have, it’s always lead to a very productive exchange…
If I get a text, on the other hand, I feel pressured to respond.
In the past, I was that way with a phone call….but not as much anymore.
I think that it’s about “quality” of communication. It seems that my text are the highest quality exchange at the moment.
April 7, 2009 at 10:07 am
“So when people contact me and are like hey is this shoemoney and I am like yes and they are like “whats up?”. I can’t tell you how annoying that is.”
THANK YOU for saying this. I HATE smalltalk. IM for me has become a tool of productivity. If you’re IMing me, you better have a good reason to be doing so.
April 7, 2009 at 2:10 pm
i m agree with you. i m great freak of text. i really hate small talk. i always to discus every thing in deep detail. While my partner don’t like this.:( like extra sophisticated person
April 7, 2009 at 3:51 pm
AIM and Text are also the two communication tools I keep tabs on the most. Mostly, because when someone uses those methods to reach me, its usually important and requires a fast answer.
I can totally relate to you when you say how annoying it is when people hit you up on those two things and just ask “Whats Up?” Not only does this distract me (especially when I’m doing something important), but it really cuts into my productivity.
If you want to know how I’m doing or you want to catch up, either call and leave a voicemail or email me! Its the best and fastest way to get an answer.
April 7, 2009 at 9:32 am
Personally I think we are in information overload now. I wrote a post about but let me say this, how did we live before we had all the ways to communicate?
April 19, 2009 at 1:15 am
Information overload is a very accurate description… I feel like my brain is going to pop sometimes…too much irrelevant info from too many irrelevant people cause me to be irrelevantly annoyed…..
April 7, 2009 at 9:25 am
When I first started using Twitter, I would stop everything I was doing to read the messages from everyone, and it was cutting into my time of being productive.
I still read it quite a bit, but not on the level I once did.
With Tweetdeck, I now have an A list and a B list. The only time I stop what I’m in the middle of to read any messages now is when new tweets show up on the A list.
April 7, 2009 at 9:25 am
You should try to attend the Q&A session that Evan Williams is having this Friday at Andersen Hall on campus – http://events.unl.edu/2009/04/10/36487/
Maybe you’ll be the person in the room with the most followers.. besides Evan of course.