What Blogger Are You from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

by Guest on December 5, 2007 · 41 comments

This is a guest post from Chanya

I recently watched the movie “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.” Not the original film with Gene Wilder but the remake with Johnny Depp. After watching the film I realized that I come across people like this every day online. Why? Because these kids are a lot like bloggers:

Augustus Gloop
In the movie, this was the overfed, out of control kid that falls into the chocolate river while attempting to drink from it. He eventually gets sucked up (and stuck) in a vacuum tube. He’s the greedy kid that had one purpose in mind: to gobble up as much food as possible. Bloggers like this are takers. They’re the ones that “borrow” other people’s posts without giving credit to the writer. In the end, they eventually get caught and “stuck” like Augustus: it’s difficult for them to go back and undo what they’ve done and it’s almost impossible for them to move forward and start anew.

Violet Beauregarde
If you’ll remember, when presented with a free piece of gum, Violet immediately stuffed it in her mouth even though she was told it was experimental and hadn’t been fully tested. This type of blogger has a site that’s chock-full of the latest plug-ins, widgets, and beta code. As such, their sites tend to be unreliable, overly busy, and difficult to navigate.

Veruca Salt
In the film the obsessively focused squirrels appealed to her; she had to have one. Money was no object and personal security and safety were a secondary concern – she leapt feet-first into the squirrel “pit” with no forethought. Bloggers like this have sites that reflect poor planning and preparedness. Their sites look like they just “jumped in” and started blogging. This may actually work for some bloggers but I believe their impulsiveness usually results in a blog that’s abandoned or infrequently updated.

Truthfully, I see a little Veruca in me. I started blogging because I had a “gotta have it” moment. In retrospect, I should have spent more time on research. I should have spent more time reading other blogs. I should have spent more time in the blog forums. Had I done that I can honestly tell you I wouldn’t have landed on Blogger. I would have chosen a web hosting service and created a WordPress-powered blog. So, (behind the scenes) I’m backtracking a bit and doing just that.

Mike Teavee
This kid was the nerd of the movie. If you’ll remember, he’s the one that cracked the secret code to winning golden tickets. He was absolutely addicted to TV and video games. Focused on all things technical, this type of blogger can fall into the trap of being too much of a tech head and end up turning away a wide range of readers. For example, how many people understand “I am using 6.06 (Dapper) LTS so I needed to compile the gspca kernel driver. Unpacked the tar file gspcav1-20070508.tar.gz.” Show of hands please.

On the flip side, I have to say that the geek in me likes blogs of this type. There’s definitely a niche market for them. As a matter of fact, techie blogs are the ones I read the most. However, the ones I revisit are those that are entertaining and written so “even a caveman can understand it.”

Oompa Loompas
In my mind, the people that comment on blog posts are the oompa loompas of the blogosphere. The good ones, those that give honest feedback, provide constructive criticism on what we write. They can sometimes be brutally honest (and sometimes just brutal) but taken as a whole their words provide insight into what’s working and what isn’t.

Charlie Bucket
Charlie is the role model in the movie. He’s the one that follows the rules. He’s patient. He’s not looking to grab the spotlight. He doesn’t possess a “get rich quick” mentality but he also doesn’t begrudge others their successes. He knows things will work out for him in the end if he works hard and maintains his integrity. He learns from his mistakes and those of others and is always willing to share what he has. In the end, he triumphs. This is the blogger we all aspire to be.

What type of blogger are you?

About the author...

– who has written 24 posts on ShoeMoney.com.

Images provided by ShutterStock


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{ 41 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Debby December 5, 2007 at 9:17 am

I haven’t seen that movie since I was a kid but after reading your description I am an Oompa Loompa.
Everyone remembers the Oompa Loompas, plus they are cute!

I think everyone can use constructive criticism on their blog. No one is perfect and things could always improve. It is how you say it to that blogger, don’t hurt their feelings or make them feel bad but give them your honest feedback.

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2 James B. December 5, 2007 at 9:20 am

I’m probably like Charlie Bucket and a little like Veruce Salt. I have a blog on Blogger. (I’m ashamed). Don’t make money from it (because i don’t try). and i don’t have a domain name. I’m just trying to slowly build traffic on a blogger domain. I’m seeing if that’s possible with a non techy niche (hunting).

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3 Affiliate Confession December 5, 2007 at 9:29 am

I think in my Internet career I’ve been a little bit of all the characters at various stages. At first you don’t know much about what’s going on so you try a little of everything, but hopefully you’ll end up like Charlie if you keep reading and learning.

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4 Blog Contests December 5, 2007 at 9:47 am

I just hate dudes with massive f’in egos

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5 shy guy December 5, 2007 at 9:55 am

Yeah.. sometimes there’s a greedy blogger..
Just want money steal others blogger idea..
WHat a shame..

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6 Hustle Strategy December 5, 2007 at 10:03 am

wow

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7 SatishSays.com December 5, 2007 at 10:24 am

Amazing co-relation!!
I think i’ve been a bit of everybody over here… except wanting to have a blog just for the heck of it.

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8 Tracy Robinson December 5, 2007 at 10:31 am

I like to think I’m more like Willie Wonka, an eccentric genius who goes underappreciated.

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9 big money December 5, 2007 at 12:22 pm

the Oompa Loompas were scary, I thought…. at least in the original movie

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10 Mitchell Blatt December 5, 2007 at 12:24 pm

Charlie Buckett will end up losing most of the time. If you don’t seek out attention, you won’t get noticed, and if you don’t cheat and take shortcuts you won’t keep up with those who do.

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11 Jack December 5, 2007 at 12:39 pm

I am the uncle. Hey, I didn’t get the ticket, but like hell if I’m not going to see that factory! Even if I have to off the three other old people!

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12 30 Day Man December 5, 2007 at 12:47 pm

Thats a brilliant post, I was seriously pissing myself. Hilarious comparing the stars from movive to bloggers.

I reckon that Israel guy is a dead ringer for Agustus Galloup. 100%

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13 30 Day Man December 5, 2007 at 12:49 pm

Thats a top call. (Should have been mentioned in the post!!) :)

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14 30 Day Man December 5, 2007 at 12:51 pm

No seriously, I am crying from laughter. These calls keep getting better. Those last two, about Charlie lying and cheating to win and the Old Uncle ‘off’ing’ the relo’s to get the trip the factory. Sheer brilliance.

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15 James B. December 5, 2007 at 2:54 pm

Nice call. I would say i would have to add him on my list too.

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16 NoviceSEO December 5, 2007 at 3:23 pm

I think I may be the uptight school teacher……. I have to admin sometimes I get frustrated when someone doesn’t understand what I am trying to say…….haha.

Great post……

eric aka noviceseo

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17 QuarterWiki December 5, 2007 at 3:36 pm

I am definitely Mike Teavee. I had to do some recent updates to my server the other day, phpMyAdmin wouldn’t dump MySQL database so I had to use the command line.

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18 QuarterWiki December 5, 2007 at 3:37 pm

Well, I think the Internet is still unregulated and there’s lots of shortscuts but I wouldn’t call them cheating since the rules aren’t so clear out there yet.

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19 Affiliate Unleashed December 5, 2007 at 4:11 pm

Hahaha. I was thinking to myself… My Dad is most like Willie Wonka when I was reading this. ^^

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20 Affiliate Unleashed December 5, 2007 at 4:14 pm

I don’t consider myself any of those, but then again, maybe I’m not looking at my bald spot ;)

Yours truly,
Oompa Loompa

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21 Mitchell Blatt December 5, 2007 at 8:36 pm

I didn’t see the new movie, but in the original movie, Charlie blatantly violated Wonka’s orders and drank the juice that made him fly, but he still won anyway. What kind of message is that sending?

Also the movie promotes white supremacy and slavery because they have Wonka enslaving the orange Oompa Lumpa’s then telling everyone else how their old culture was so uncivilized and how he had to save them from it.

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22 QuarterWiki December 6, 2007 at 5:53 am

I like the original movie, the new one is okay but not as exciting… I used to have nightmares watching this movie as a kid.

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23 Gecko Tales December 6, 2007 at 6:59 am

I couldn’t watch the new movie. I saw the original movie when I was little and I had bad dreams about that elevator for years. I’m still shell shocked. I couldn’t even get through the post without breaking into a cold sweat.

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24 Seth December 6, 2007 at 10:29 am

Shoe,
I have to say the last few posts have me very confused. Especially this one.. I can’t wait till you get back on the box.. That last ? I don’t get it! What kind of pasta do you eat?? was that the ? rediculous……

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25 NinaR December 6, 2007 at 5:09 pm

I’m not sure I completely follow your comments but I think it’s a pretty clever post. It simply compares bloggers to the kids in the movie, just like the previous post compared internet marketers to the TV show Heroes. I think it’s called metaphor . . . .

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26 Scott Weaver December 6, 2007 at 5:54 pm

I am so copying this idea for every movie title and show from my childhood. Oh wait, i don’t want to be Augustus Gloop. Scratch that.

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27 seth December 6, 2007 at 8:49 pm

I come to this blog looking for sensable information about business and i think shoe knows just what hes doin, not for the banter about how greedy bloggers are its rediculous geez your a blogger and im supposed to believe your not greedy too. Do you really honestly think the reverse association and inclusion of a simpleton portrayed child,charlie and the chocolate factory adds credibility? Its just link bait to make us think your so big you can write about cartoon content.. Save it.. We are all lookin to make money and use different link bait for our reasons! FYI there are no innovations in blogging. readership is based on content & topical interest.. Now your post is well writen but its place is cartoon network, Not Shoemoney.. I tell my teenage boys everyday get off that tv & pc and go to the dam park to see the real world. oompa loompas… your actually talking about them as if they were real….WHHOOOOW Geez Pleez

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28 Chanya December 7, 2007 at 10:07 am

Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it – I enjoyed writing it.

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29 Chanya December 7, 2007 at 10:11 am

Tracy: That’s an excellent comparison and one that works well with the post.

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30 Chanya December 7, 2007 at 10:19 am

I agree. And when I think of cheating as it relates to the internet the first thing that comes to mind is scrapers, specifically those that don’t give any credit to the original author. They may actually be successful in making money doing this but I like to think they eventually get found out.

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31 Chanya December 7, 2007 at 10:23 am

I just learned the hard way last weekend how much I’m not Mike Teavee. Ended up crashing my site and had to call in a few “Mikes.”

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32 Nicholas James December 7, 2007 at 12:53 pm

Nightmares watching Charlie and the chocolate family? Its one of the most child friendly sites on the planet lol.

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33 Nicholas James December 7, 2007 at 12:54 pm

Nice post by the way and some good relevance how you can take aspects from Charlie and the chocolate factory :)

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34 Oto Döşeme December 8, 2007 at 2:08 am

Yeah…Just want money steal others blogger idea…

Thinking…

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35 VacationGuy December 10, 2007 at 12:32 am

good post – i found the movie to be creepy?

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36 Chanya December 10, 2007 at 8:16 am

Thanks! Yes, Tim Burton tends to have a somewhat odd “vision” of things. Actually, approaching a popular subject or issue from a different perspective is a tactic that some bloggers use to stand out from the crowd.

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37 Margaret December 10, 2007 at 11:48 am

Love this analogy! I don’t know exactly where I fit, though I know who I would LIKE to be :)

I post nearly daily to my blog, but it doesn’t fit into any “niche” per se and that may be a good thing or it may be a bad thing, I’m not totally sure. I read so many blogs that focus on one subject but then again, I read some that are eclectic like I think of mine.

Although I like techy things, it irritates me no end when they don’t work (like some plug in I tried that had something to do with avatars — thought that would be tres cool, but it was a crappy plug in, so I ditched it quick!).

Anyway, I thought this was a great analogy and very clearly written.

è¿é

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38 Chanya December 10, 2007 at 7:45 pm

Margaret, I’m not sure, but there may be as many (if not more) “niche-less” blogs as there are blogs that focus on a particular topic.

If you’ve been blogging for a while you’ve probably exhibited qualities of many of the characters mentioned in the article. Glad you enjoyed it!

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39 Paul December 11, 2007 at 7:27 am

Really enjoyed this post, watched Willy Wonka myself recently (must be a Xmas thing) – but didn’t make the same connections with the blogging world as the author. Bravo!

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40 Fiscal Musings December 13, 2007 at 10:09 pm

It’s an interesting comparison, not really one that I would have drawn, but another way to look at things.

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41 softmanya December 24, 2007 at 2:50 pm

wooow its great

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