Conference Travel Tips Redux: The R. Kelley Director’s Cut

Shoe’s recent post about conference travel tips was pretty spot on. It was also quite the coincidence, as I was planning on writing one of my own. Oh well, suck it bitches, you’re getting a dupe post from me. At least it’s Friday.
My conference travel tips:

Limit yourself to carry-on luggage

I know, you’re thinking “How on earth can a female travel with only a carry on?”, but I’ve got it down to a science (a couple pairs of shoes and jeans, a few shirts, toiletries, my liquids in an “I’m not a terrorist” sized baggie, and I’m good to go). I travel about once a month for work, and I quickly got tired of waiting for my bag at baggage claim. Also, you can really shoot yourself in the foot with layovers, especially since so many flights are delayed nowadays. You could lose your luggage in the process, which is a real pain in the ass.

Oh, and ladies, you don’t need all of that crap you’re trying to shove into your giant suitcase. Trust me. You’ll impress the fellas by simply being a female in the industry (“OMG, someone with boobs!”). You don’t need to pack eighteen tops and six pairs of shoes.

Bring Visine (especially if you’re going to Pubcon–Vegas Dust Eyes is a look nobody can pull off)

I stay out late, get a few hours of sleep, and always wake up looking like I’ve been infected with the RAGE virus. If you don’t want potential colleagues and clients to think that you’ve got a touch of the Satan in you, rock the Visine (or Clear Eye, if you’re a Ben Stein fan).

Pack casual clothes 

Unless you’ll be meeting with a client and need to dress up or want to impress people, I’d pack casual clothes or clothes you’re comfortable in. Search/tech/Internet conferences are attended by, well, SEOs, techies, and Internet dorks. These folks define dressing up as wearing pants, period. You will feel overdressed if you pack suits, ties, and dress pants (unless you’re comfortable wearing them, in which case you’ll just stand out among the crowd).

Dump the conference tote

I’d recommend getting the bare essentials out of the standard-issue conference tote (i.e. the “Conference at a Glance” agenda) and then abandoning it. I took home about a half dozen SES tote bag before I realized that I will never use the damn things (and I hated lugging around 5 lbs of crap), so I resorted to grabbing the agendas out of them and then just leaving the bag at a table. I don’t even use the big bulky note-taking thing that’s issued to attendees because it’s frickin’ gigantic and because I type faster than I write, so I just take notes on my laptop.

Pack some Airborne or cold-blasting packets

I always feel my immune system start to take a nosedive when I go to conferences (staying up late, drinking too much, not getting enough sleep, etc). Whenever I wake up with Lumpy Throat Syndrome, I down a few Airborne cocktails throughout the day and feel better. Blast your immune system with vitamin C and other cold-fighting agents right when you feel the first signs of getting sick, and you can usually fend off the cold.

Have cash on you 

You don’t want to be the one dick in the dinner crowd who doesn’t treat and take care of the cab ride or pitch in on the dinner tab. Don’t be That Guy. That guy is an asshole.

Wear comfortable shoes

Sometimes you’ll go straight from wandering around the conference all day to an after conference mixer and then dinner or an event at a bar. If you don’t have time to change, make sure you’re not torturing your feet. I’m uncomfortable in virtually anything except sneakers (I loves me some Pumas), so I don’t dare pack heels out of fear that I’ll either trip and break my neck or that I’ll kill my feet.

Open up a crapload of tabs in your browser before boarding the plane 

You can get some work done that way, or you’ll just have more stuff to read.

If you room with someone, make sure he or she’s not an asshole

You never really know someone until you’ve lived with him/her. I’ve had roommates I’ve wanted to strangle, and I’ve had roommates who are cool. Bad roommates are snorers, people who take forever to get ready, people who go to bed several hours before you do, requiring you to sneak into your own room at 4 am, drunk as a skunk and running into all kinds of shit because you can’t see a goddamn thing, and night tooters. Good roommates are people who don’t do any of that.

And the last tip I can offer you: Stay away from Shoe. He’s a real asswad. 😉