1) Start it with “Dear Sirs,”
Seriously…
2) Spell my name wrong.
You want to make misspellings? Thats cool but my name is Jeremy Schoemaker not Jermey or Jeremey and my last name is not Shoemaker or Shumaker or Schumacher.
3) In the email tell me how your just a small blogger and how awesome I am.
WTF do you think I am… I think anyone who has every met me in person would say I am just a regular guy.
4) Ask me what you should do to make money online.
This one annoys the crap out of me. All I do is write and demonstrate several ways to make money online (well most of the time).
5) Ask me what sites I own.
I am always surprised at why people want to know exactly what sites we own… wtf does it matter?
6) Make me read at least 4 pages before getting to your point
I think that is self explanatory
7) Send me a email after you have already used the contact form, messaged me on every forum I have an account in 30 mins
stalk much.
8 ) In the To: Field its addressed to “Undisclosed Recipients”
Sure there are exceptions to this rule. For instance many times people want to not divulge others emails and thats fine. But if I have never ever talked to you I will assume its being sent to a ton of users and toss it.
9) Tell me how other a-list bloggers love your site and have blogged it so I should to
There are so many reasons why this does not work.
- I have never heard of the other bloggers
- I hate regurgitating what others have already written about.
- I dont like the other blogger who wrote about it.
10) Email me and tell me people are syndicating my content
yes i know dis.
About the author...
Jeremy Schoemaker – who has written 2412 posts on ShoeMoney.com.
Hi I am Jeremy Schoemaker and ShoeMoney.com is my blog. 99% of the post here are done by me but you will see others occasionally make guest posts. This blog is fun to write but for my day job I run several online companies.
Images provided by ShutterStock
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{ 111 comments… read them below or add one }
It’s hard to be famous
Seriously.. i understand how tired you must be to get all thees annoying E-mails from other people.
Got a bad hair day Shoe?
Does anyone ask you to become a personal advisor for helping them to make money?
Agrees while sending you an email.
- not spam
I’m a new subscriber and already like your attitude. Keep it up.
The misspelling of your name is the funniest on this list, coming from El Presidente of misspelled words himself.
I always thought it was because you took my ideas and ran with them. Will try to keep them under 3 pages from now on
Names are important, especially when you are asking for something. What I really like is when car dealers or people marketing to you send you propaganda send you things with your name mispelled. The stuff usually goes straight to the trash.
can i work for you ? i will be the first one to read your emails and decide what you should read and what not
LOL , POOR U !
Hahah, I just sent you a mail and yay I kept it within your rules ;P So I’m expecting an answer
Cyber stalkers are the shizz.
Peanut butter jelly time?
People always email me and ask how to become broke and how to maintain an unread blog – they do spell my name right, though.
Dear Sirs (Mr Shoemaker)
Good postz but you should would learnz more from my blog at….
LOL
I wonder what percent of your readers that would be.
90+%?
:p
I can’t believe people misspell your name… that’s just insulting.
Wow, that’s a strict criteria. How am I gonna write you a email without breaking these rules?
I think I will stick to comments. Don’t tell me you are gonna write another post tomorrow about “10 Reasons I Don’t Read Your Comments”.
Haha Shoemaker or Shumaker or Schumacher!!!
Is it true that people call you that Geremey ? :p
hahahahaha “good idea hustle… yoink!”
Jermey,
You don’t impress me. I am a big time blogger and you need to take lessons. Let me list the ways I can help you make money online.
1) Invest in PPC
2) Affiliate Marketing
3) Adsense
4) Backlinks
That’s about it. Just follow my simple rules and I can make you a millionaire. There are people making over $10,000 a month using my system.
Sincerely,
Joe Blogger
yes and then some
ROFL.. Spells ya name rong ?
Damn Shoe, just do what I do. Stick with a pseudonym. That way noone will EVER spell your name wrong.
PS: my real name is commonly misspelled and it pisses me off too.. but then, I CAN spell
And a few other reasons I suspect
always
I guess you aren’t just a regular guy if you have to post about how much email “fans” send you
Well 14,928 readers compared to my 200, I’d say my blog is small. You can be an awesome regular guy ya know =P
What if I am just mailing you to tell you how much bigger your p#nis can be! hahaha, I know what ya mean bro, obviously not at the same level, but I get so many stupid emails…..
These are things that noobies do. Obviously someone who really wants to contact you will do so by commenting with a good response and then maybe if you comment to their comment, follow up with some kind of email. I think I must have made similar mistakes in the past, that’s why my emails get tossed?
Hey, ever get someone who says they have a good idea and they actually do, but they seemed to have done everything else wrong (from your list)?
amen to that!…. but well… that’s what i got for typing stupid things “for men” if you know what i mean…
I know a lot of people would like to be in your shoes, but I’ll bet it’s seriously annoying. I don’t get #3, though. I agree that people shouldn’t be star struck, but you should also realize that your success has made you a blogging idol to many. That goes with the territory.
Great list… thanks. I just wrote an article about why we should all answer our email, course I didn’t take into account the total stupidity that follows many emails.
Put together a short list of rules for emailing me and anyone that doesn’t follow them gets automatically deleted. That would probably take care of 90% of your email… I have found most people can’t read, right?
Great post. Scott
What if he doesn’t give a flying flip
Now that we know all this we could make up an emai that has all these together.
Sounds like you are having a bad day there J!
The whole stardom effect is someting you better get used to! If you can make a cheque from google your most popular picture, I’m sorry to say…but you are an internet celebrity. As for being a normal guy, yes….in real life. The life where your real friends call you to hang out. Online, its a different story.
You have subscribers so that you can inform them on how to make money, UFC results, and whatever random stuff you post online.
Do any search on money making and your name shows up.
So Superstar, be a good one and be nice to the normal people. They are simply trying to make their own 6 figure google cheque.
Peace,
a
11. How much do you earn a month?
WTF? Is this guy serious or joking? Fist of all, you spelled his name wrong AGAIN. And shoe doesn’t need anybody teaching him adsense and affiliate marketing. Not even seo because he already knows that stuff!
LOL @ the new subscriber already liking shoe’s attitude.
talking about misspelling, read point # 3 again!
You hope after this post they will review their method?
NO.
Shoe is just a peace of bullshit, he is all posting this to show off to people that he has got thousands of internet fans and he is one of the awesome bloggers….
LOL. I delete just almost everything in my email.
I agree completely
Ginene , you are not gonna find success, asshole…
nothing like a little jealousy huh?
Its interesting to see you have much of the same attitude that I do. People email me all the time and I read maybe 20% of them. Most get ignored as spam or just plain BS. I look alot at the subject and author of the email. If you send me an email that says “Hey” — I ignore it as well.
I guess you are not talking about the AdSense cheque queries here?
Guess you get double up of e-mails now with people who want to test if they can send you an e-mail you answer to.
And I just wonder… are you deleting mails with bad english too? We’re a lot of people not having english as our native language….
that would explain the no responses. lol.
lol yes does make sense.
LOL @ #7. I’m happy to say I’ve never made any of those mistakes when emailing someone, yay
.
Sounds like good valid reasons to me!
So is that why you dont reply to my forum emails…ahhh haa!
Why even bother with emails? Out of interest sake, how many do you actually get?
In lieu of e-mail deletion, what kind of productivity method do you use to check your e-mails since you are well known in this blog niche world.
I can’t stalk you? Shoot. That clears my weekend schedule…
Jeo Blocker,
Your system is just 10k per month?
I have a system $133k per month that i dont need to do anything.
With Attitude,
Shoe Impersonation
why must it be “Dear Sir” ? lots of spam mail start with that.
Isnt informal email nicer to read ? We are not talking about email proposing some sort of business partnership.
haha. gotta love this guy.. apparently he didn’t read the freakin’ GOOGLE CHECK BLOG!!! omfg! do you really think that you’ll be taken seriously trying to impress Shoe w/ that pocket change income. HA!
<>
Answer:More than you!
Im sure you will find plenty of success by calling random people asshole
Oh how I wish you didn’t post that blog because you have touched a topic near and dear to my heart. I am one of those people who emailed you and I am also one of those people who got truly offended by your automated reply, “thats for spamming me!”. What I know is this… I wish you no ill will at all but you have taught me a valuable lesson on how NOT to be a total jerk. Never forget Jeremy that your “celebrity” that you so cherish is based on one thing… the readers. Piss off enough of them and watch your wonderful counts go down the crapper and with that your ad money. Yes, you don’t need it at this point but maybe your ego does. The only reason why your tone makes sense to me is that maybe at Blog World (which I am attending myself), you have gotten an earful? You won’t from me. I respect you and your hard work. I just wish you understood that to be great is not to serve the few chosen but the many less desired.
Had a couple ‘WTF’ dropped in there…I would say the inbox was a little too full today! Yeah you are a regular guy…a regular guy that makes a lot a scratch doing what many people try to do…thats where the eny is. Enjoy it bro!
The one that starts with “Dear Sirs” really annoy me. I guess I am kind of biased towards this greeting because I used to get hundreds of spams that began with this greeting.
Me too! I thought I was the only one!
11. Anything that doesn’t pertain to me, myself, and I…I instantly delete.
..and here we have a guy who knows how to generate traffic from comments.
Yo, Shoemoney,
Thanks for telling me, bro,
I was going to do everything you told me not to do.
Bro, you did advertise your huge adsense, that’s an invitation for stalking
!!
Anywayz,
Best of luck man
Mandeep
LOL! I never imagined anyone would take that seriously. Funny…
Dude … you’re awesome. Where’s your blog at ? I’m subscribing
O RLY ?
McBilly, do you really need to ask?
Irony.
I mainly just get called a w****r but all feedback is good right?
no more butt kissing emails for you then
probably all be a bit more blunt and too the point lol
you’ll regret that post its good for your ego to be worshipped lol
if people want to kiss my ass please feel free
Is that necessary to ask here?
I thought that was really funny. But it was WAAY more funny when so many folks thought this joke was real! Case and point — don’t assume people can read your sarcasm online.
-Mike
Loved this! It inspired me to write a post I’ve been wanting to write for a long time!
Best,
Margie
Indeed, 90% of email is spam, and 90% of “legit” email is a complete waste of time. Email is really just a microcosm for all the wasted communication in the æther of the business world. Great post!
You really don’t blame people for spelling your last name as Shoemoney, since thats how you spell your domain name.
dude, you spelled “piece” wrong.
None of us of time for useless email, so it’s perfectly understandable why you’d trash mail that are simply annoying or a genuine waste of time. On the other hand while being dealing with this issues privately is one thing, making such a public declaration does seem a tad arrogant.
Top 10 ways to get shoemoney to read & reply to your email:
10. Present an opportunity to make money
9. Include a free piece of Swag
8. Address email to “Dear Pompous Bald Blogger”
7. Identity theft (Pretend you’re someone important. See Fake Steve Jobs)
6. Blackmail using convincingly doctored photographs
5. Bribery (see #9)
4. Offer your services as a ‘fixer’
3. Pretend you are a Nigerian Banker needing to transfer several million out of country
2. Represent yourself as a NYT journalist. Disguise your questions on how to make money as a series of interview questions.
And the number one way to get Shoemoney to read your mail?
1. Send emails cleverly disguised to look like a Cease and Desist
I love this!
Jermy: 1. Read my blog. 2. Tell me, mighty lord, How can I become a billionaire online? 3. You are such a bad speller 4. Do you know that you really say nothing on this site? Yes, you do! But do the rest know? 5. I started by liking you, but now you have reached idiot status, now I can’t stand you.
This is inspiring, it’s like trying to bypass a spamshield, thanks “Jeremey” for unlocking the secrets behind getting my email read.
Actually, the only email I sent to Jeremy he replied so, I’m okay back here..
Now I know why you don’t answer any of my 12 emails I send you each day.
What if we talk about something in our emails other than the content that you cover on this site?
if lots of us do these, we can confuse shoe and make him lose many opportunities
Jeremy, I take it you’re frustrated with the huge amounts of e-mails you get that are very stupid
<–Just like this comment haha.
Anyways, the points you made are absolutely true and everyone should follow them when they contact a blog owner. It is stressed so much, but no one understands it.
-Mike
you sound like Lindsy Lohan complaining about the paparazzi . waawaaawaa.
love ya anyways
I would delete yours due to a lack of proper grammar. Number three: “your” should be “you’re,” as in “you are.”
With a baseball bat even…
LMAO @ Impersonation…I think you’re dead on.
Dear God,
You rock man. I LOOOOOOOOOVE your site. Can I monopolize your time so you can do all the work for me? AWESOME!
Ok, love you. buh-bye
Must admit Shoe man – in this post you do sound “Too cool for school”
Maybe that was your intention; spark a bit of comment maybe? some baiting?
You could have the next series of Worlds Deadliest Catch on Your Hands.
This seems like an interesting post. Not in the best mood that day im guessing!
ROFL! Great!
Personally, I’d like to know what websites you own. Why ? Well, it’s obvious… You make money online, so I could analyze how your sites are designed, promoted, and get some tips from that. It’s like making lessons on how to draw and not showing other persons what you draw… no ?
Thank God I did not spell your name wrong.
I hate grammar snobs
hmmm i had never thought of emailing shoe for some help
might have to give it a try!
You rocks. (Hopefully u don’t delete my email.) lol
I hate people who send annoying emails, and you’ve clarified alot of the reasons why I delete them, however, at least you’ve gave reasons why lol.
sometimes,i also delete my email from my user because they are annoying and wasting my time…i agree with you but you should be so egois
Thats funny, many people dont care much about mispelling other people name
great post
It would annoy me to but sometimes you got to let go a little and help the dumb and ignorant.
I, too, hate when someone misspells my name. But one has to give and take …
One reason I stop reading your blog…
3) In the email tell me how your just a small blogger and how awesome I am.
You spell YOUR wrong
interesting… but looking at the analytics you come back almost every day. So you just stopped for 1 day?
Good work thanks
nice
That clears my weekend schedule
I couldn’t agree with you more!