Every-time I hear my wife use her title I think its so cool and I have to get one. She calls room service and is like, “this is Dr Schoemaker I need more pillows” then they call back and I pick up the phone and they are like “Dr. Schoemaker, did you want feather or foam pillows” and I am like “uhh I will ask HER”.
I think a title sounds so cool. It wouldn’t have to be Doctor. Besides unless I want to goto school for like 15 years I cant be a Dr. Of course I could donate money to a university and get a honorary Doctorate but then my wife said she would not let me use the title unless I EARNED it.
(A.D.D. KICKING IN side note – Earned it?!? Why can’t I do well in my profession and buy a Doctorate by donating to a college.. why wouldn’t I have EARNED it? )
Here are some other options for a title.
Sir – after being knighted by the Queen of England I could use the title Sir Jeremy Schoemaker (only if I was a UK Citizen) This would require bribing of course and I do not think I have the money that other people like Bill Gates have nor the coolness of people like Rudolph Giuliani
Reverend – Ohhh here is a good one. I need to find out more about this. Rev. Schoemaker sounds like a good title. Plus I like to talk so maybe it would be fitting.
Anyway I want a title.
About the author...
Jeremy Schoemaker – who has written 2415 posts on ShoeMoney.com.
Hi I am Jeremy Schoemaker and ShoeMoney.com is my blog. 99% of the post here are done by me but you will see others occasionally make guest posts. This blog is fun to write but for my day job I run several online companies.
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{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }
How about “king of scrap”
Nice one smartass
Here, I’ve solved your problems:
Reverand — ulc.org free, online application
Docterate, from a diploma mill (if they refuse you, just go to google and search unaccredited doctorate — affordabledegrees.com
Sorry, haven’t found any sites that do online knightings (but that gives me an idea for my next project..)
Titles are bs that people in charge came up with to control the people. Now anyone who can uses them to raise their status. I couldn’t give a damn about someone’s “title”. It doesn’t mean didly squat in my eyes. I judge people on their character, not their titles.
You wanting a petty title lowers your stock in my book. Do you give a damn? No. Should you? No.
Sometimes your right on with your posts. Other times, you don’t get it.
How about “Colonel” ?!
I always wondered how Colonel Tom Parker and Colonel Sanders (KFC) got be “Colonels” without earning the rank through military service…
Then I found out that auctioneers can be called “Colonel”! And imagine there are auctioneer schools that’ll accredit you online.
From wikipedia: “In the U.S., auctioneers who have completed Auctioneer School commonly use the title Colonel and are given this honorary title because in the U.S. Civil War, Colonels of the armies were called upon to auction off the spoils of war.”
So if you complete auctioneer school, and do what Andrew suggests above, you could call yourself “Colonel Reverend ShowMoney”! Now *THAT* would get room service’s attention!
Sir! I hope that helps, SIR!
-Private Steve
niiiice info
hah that is hilarious
Ian -
I think you take my blog WAYYYYYY to seriously!
According to Answers.com, he “was made a member of the Honorable Order of Kentucky Colonels in 1935 by Kentucky Governor Ruby Laffoon”. So there’s another route for you!
Shoemoney!! you under-estimate yourself
What about Prof. ?
You already got THE name/title – “Shoe”
I.e. if I said “Shaq”, you would know instantly who I am talking about – even I do and I don’t follow sports. Ditto for you former girlfriend “Paris” … who you dumped for your lovely wife.
I think your right about taking the blog way too seriously.
Titles just piss me off. Especially when people introduce themselves as Doctor So and So. Like I should respect you more cause your a doctor.
King Shoemoney, Lord Shoemoney… Beggar Shoemoney, lol!
As an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church, recognized by the State of Texas, I hereby ordain you as Shoemoney, Right Reverend of Blogging. Right Reverend Shoemoney, you may keep or dismiss this title as you see fit.
heh. Just seemed appropriate.
Shoemoney, Esq.
“Esquire (abbreviated Esq.) was originally a social rank above that of mere gentleman, allowed, for example, to the sons of nobles and gentry who did not possess any other title.”
Alek is right, instead of a title get a name.
your sister and I are ordained. And you can choose the title you wish to use. I am personally thinking of taking on goddess…lol. There is a gentleman that just found out Scott is a DR and the other day he saw us and addressed us and DR and Reverend Moore i was great……
Hey Becka hear from you
I like it VS cept i need a prefix tiltle
How about Commodore ShoeMoney? Commodore is a old naval rank that is no longer used. It is also sometimes used to describe the head yacht club or the social head of affluent circles.
you could always go with “Dungeon Master”, besides, I’m an ordained minister, so we could just keep it a family tradition and all be Reverends
However, if you get the title Rev. I’ll have to call you Rev. Run…
Chief Creative Officer has a nice ring to it. . .
Just “Shoemoney” on its own, nothing more, nothing less.
Eventually “Shoemoney” may become as popular a term as “Google”
*Methinks*
You can always change your first name, or adopt a middle name! Then you can call yourself anything you want… Professor Shoemoney.
I ask people to refer to me as “Your Eminence”.
For some reason, they seldom do..
I use the title “Webmaster” I like it and not many people use it. I know it is not like DR. or that sort of thing but it could be. I find that it never fails to produce interest and conversation in a room if you introduce yourself as Webmaster so and so. People will come up to you and ask you about it. I useally start off by quoting the number of web pages I am responsible for 1/4 million etc. Just try introducing your self proudly as Webmaster Schoemaker and see how it goes! There are few real professional webmasters out there, you dont find poeple every day who can say yes I am a webmaster and I make a very good living at it. Some people know what it is but lots don’t. They can still figure out it has something to do with the internet though. Lets just use WS to abreviate Webmaster. From now on always write your name with WS. in front.
I am going to get 2 hats made up. One black and one white and have Webmaster embroidered on the front. We will see if anybody ever gets that one around here. I can wear the white one or the black one depending on my mood hehe. Hay shoe I believe you once said you knew where to get shirts made cheap right? How about hats? I would like to start selling hats with Webmaster on them. Black ones and white or some lighter color ones. I’ll kick you some freebies if you put me onto a good source for cheap hats. “Webmaster” Shirts might be cool also so if you don’t mind let me know where you get those also.
Me likes the hat and shirt idea. You should run with it (or I will!)
you fucking right they should.
you don’t go into 11-17 years of medical school to mingle among the ‘normals’
How do you like “Guru Schoe”